One of many (maybe) posts

This European adventure has gone by in a flash - doesn't it always? Germany is exactly what I need before I head home to the storm that awaits me. I am so relaxed in this little German town that moves at it's own pace. I am reminded anew that Canada runs at a hyper-speed that is quite exhausting. I am not sure why we do this to ourselves, but I have an appreciation for Europe's mastery of living life at a slow pace and I hope that I can accomplish this in my own life one day.

In the past five weeks, I have only had internet when we were in Dreieich. Matt and I didn't bring any devices with us, which posed a few challenges in this hyper-connected world. However, despite not having trip-advisor at our fingertips to validate each restaurant we went to, it was really nice to be disconnected. I think I checked Facebook and my email a handful of times, my pinterest was pretty much shut off for three weeks in a row, and I didn't do the mindless blog and news wandering that you do when you have a spare minute. It was incredibly freeing. If you have never taken a break from the internet - you should. It is easier than you think.

This is also why I have not written on this blog like I said I would. I have so many things in my head, and we were in many beautiful places - so I will try and write posts in the future to share this adventure with you. Right now, I must go pack and get ready to head home. See you soon! 

A Story about Timing

At about 10pm on Wednesday evening, we booked train tickets from Frankfurt to Nuremburg. It was not even half an hour since we had just been on the train returning from Dresden to Frankfurt. Wondering how we should spend our two free days before flying to Istanbul, we thought the city where the Third Reich both displayed the totality of its power and met justice warranted a visit. Also, it has a castle. We were not mistaken - Nuremberg is well worth a visit, and indeed it deserves more than the 24 hours that we gave it. The old town is absolutely picturesque especially with my stunning husband - picturesque all on his own!! (he infiltrated my blog...)

As we were researching on Wednesday night, we discovered a daily walking tour that we wanted to take of Nuremberg. Unfortunately, it is a tour from Munich, which takes a two hour train ride to conduct it's tour. Kein problem, we thought. We knew the approximate time that the train would arrive, which was only an hour and a half after our own train arrived. We would go to the hotel, drop off our stuff, and go back to the Hauptbahnhof to meet our tour (hoping they would allow us to join their tour). In fact, everything worked according to German timing, which is to say - perfectly. We got to the city, dropped off our bags at the hotel, went back to the station and found the train arriving from Munich. Everything had worked out perfectly.

Now, you are expecting me to tell you a story about how our plan fell into place without a hitch. But alas, this is not a story that I can tell. My story is better. It is about how we met our Tourist-Angel.
So, back to Platform 7: there was no red-shirted tour guide to get off the train from Munich. As we walked from the train station, we had to quickly calculate a Plan B. Plan B: walk around the old town and look at old buildings. So we set off, walking though the old town. There were a couple of old churches (once you've seen one, you've seen them all), very modern shopping centers, buildings built in the medieval style, and a very nice little canal that cuts it's way through the old town. And then, Albrecht Durer's house.

If you find yourself in Nuremberg, Albrecht Durer's house is not a necessity. He is a medieval artist, who was very interesting, but the tour is not worth 5 euros/person. Look at the house and look him up on Wikipedia. After Albrecht Durer's house, we decided to find a WWII art bunker that we had heard about. In accordance to the perfect-timing precedent that had already been set, we arrived to sign up for the only tour that runs during the day (2:30pm) about 45 minutes before it started. We bought our tickets, went and had a varying form of meat and bread combination that the Germans are famous for, and arrived back just in time for the tour to start. This is where we first met our Tourist-Angel.

I can't remember her name, which adds an air of mystery to this whole thing, doesn't it. She was a lovely little German lady who speaks perfect English. She was an absolute wealth of information, which makes that tour absolutely worth the 5 euros/person. Before Hitler officially started the war, he had commanded that should war break out for some reason, all of the art must be saved. So on day two of WWII, the city of Nuremburg went about moving all of the city's art down into a medieval beer cellar that already existed. With a non-existent budget, they insulated and ventilated the bunker and moved all of the art down for safe keeping. In fact, the city's art remained there until the 1970's, when Nuremberg was finally and fully rebuilt.

After our tour, we asked our tour guide where we should go next. She told us we must go to the court house and "just follow me, I must go in that direction anyways." Perfect. She gave us directions to the court house, where the Nuremberg trials were conducted following WWII (1946). It is an absolutely satisfying place to tour and you must go see it. In fact, the Nuremberg trials created the map for the ICC today. After our courthouse tour and a nice little dinner, we made our way back to the old square, where our tour guide told us we'd find a flea market that only takes place twice a year. Indeed, it was not difficult to find as the entire city goes to this flea market. The Germans love festivals, and this was no exception. It took up a good majority of the old town, and it seemed like we were really the only tourists there - this was a festival for the Germans and we were merely guests. It was definitely a highlight.

This morning, we made our way to the Documentation Center (also a must), where we found our tour guide sitting outside. Unfortunately she wasn't waiting for us, but a tour bus. However, she informed us that we were too early and we had to walk around the lake to see the Rally Grounds where Hitler held his rallies for the German people. We are very grateful that she told us about this, as it was really interesting. Nuremberg hasn't really kept the Rally grounds in good shape. It is just there and you can climb all over it. It is a testament to their decision not to glorify or condone the Third Reich in any way. The Documentation Center is extremely well done and absolutely worth a visit.

We made it back to the train station in perfect timing, and back to Frankfurt earlier than expected. Our Tourist-Angel definitely made our trip to Nuremberg the best it could have been.  #blessed (haha).

Touching down -

My feet are in Europe; my body-clock is in Canada.
I am listening to the birds singing outside the window while I think about writing
and wait for words to come back to me. I am a little rusty.
Unfortunately, they are hesitant to come.
They have remembered all of the times that they came to me but I was too busy to dance with them.
I hope that they are not a jealous friend and will return.

I am sorry.
I am ready for that dance.

Nana

I was old enough to see

the threads of your mind

gradually unwind.

But old enough to know

that a life well lived

is worth more than the end.

And you lived well.  And you laughed well.

And the loon calls in the place where

your love was a deep well.

You let me comb your beautiful white hair;

my little fingers pulled the comb through

and you smiled.

These memories of mine are silent memories

- like a black and white movie.

But your smile is all sound and colour.

Your smile and the songs.

Always a smile. Always a song.

Those songs wove their way

through my childhood like my fingers

through your white hair.

And the songs remained when the names and memories faded.

Your searching eyes were the hardest part,

scanning your mind for who I was to you.

And I wanted to bring out a comb to remind you.

As your life well lived sighed softly closed,

I imagine you smiled your sly smile

and my little fingers keep running through your white hair. 

My Poems

Words whisper in my ears,
close enough to touch but too far to grab.
I try and grasp for them,
but they move away before I can take hold.

Sometimes, as I watch the big Alberta Sky,
its expanse writes phrases across my mind.
Little notes to calm my soul,
but too transient for paper.

If you write what you know,
then I know only spaces and breaks -
pauses.

My poems are in the silence
and the expanse of the sky.
My poems change as fast as clouds can darken the blue
or the sun can again break through.

If you write what you know,
then my poems are in the waiting -
in the search for patience.
My poems are in the sitting and hoping... and sometimes the coming.

Sometimes they are in the doing -
but often they are in the absence of courage to do.

But the best poems are little sentences
etched on my mind as the blue deepens
and turns to dusk. That is when the beautiful
peaks through and words are almost close enough to grasp.

life's not a paragraph 

and death i think is no parenthesis

-ee cummings

I do not know if I have ever appreciated counting down into a new year as much as I enjoyed the count down into 2012. 2011 was a huge roller coaster ride for me, but one must not risk throwing the proverbial baby out with the bath water, so I will attempt to find something worthwhile about 2011. 

Actually, I am being quite flippant here. As I has complaining to my dad about one of the many difficulties I was facing, he reminded me that I have a good life - and cannot forget to count the good things as well as the bad. Certainly there were good things about 2011. Matt and I went on an amazing 2 1/2 month adventure through SE Asia at the beginning of the year. There were challenges, and we certainly learned from many of our experiences, but overall this trip was one of the most amazing adventures I have ever had. Traveling has this way of reminding you that your paradigm is not the only paradigm. It also reminds you that you can get dirty and you most likely will not die. It was wonderful to forget about our sanitized western way of doing things for a few months and learn more about the world we live in. We also learned so much about our relationship and ourselves. I have so many amazing memories of this trip - I would not trade any of the experiences I had for the world. 

After we returned from SE Asia, I set about finding a job - a task that took me a humbling month and a half. For one who has been consistently employed since I started working in grade 11, it was difficult to take so much silence or rejection. I finally did find work at a great little coffee shop called Phil & Sebastian's. I have always loved making coffee, and I love the people. However, I came back from SE Asia feeling ready to make my way into a career. Though making coffee is great, I don't feel like I own it. I want to do something I can own - something that excites me everyday and that I can invest myself in. So, even though I love the company and the people, I went back to school from September to November and earned my Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA). 

This is definitely a departure from my career ambitions even six months ago. Some of you might remember that I was destined to earn my Master's in Journalism. Certainly this was a difficult decision to make, but I do not necessarily feel like I have abandoned my plans or compromised my ambitions. The reason I was so eager to earn my Master's in Journalism was because I would like to one day help women in the margins of society - giving them the language skills they need to tell their own stories and create a life for themselves. A Master's in Journalism would also satisfy my own interest in telling stories and feeling connected to the world around me. However, when I was struggling with whether or not I could justify taking a course that would potentially lead me away from my original goals, I realized that helping women tell their own stories, and giving them the language tools they need to begin a trek towards independence is exactly what the CELTA certificate would enable me to do. It is a more direct and pragmatic approach to achieving the same goal - and a little more focused. Not only that, but I have found that I absolutely love ESL teaching.

There is another reason that I needed to set my self up in some sort of career oriented job rather quickly. Matt and I decided to buy a house together in November. In an effort to move forward in our relationship and lives, we purchased a little condo in Canyon Meadows. It is absolutely beautiful. Matt will move in first, and then I will move in during the summer, when he goes back to school for a diploma in Environmental Technology at SAIT. It is a new adventure, and a wonderful way to end the year. 

2011 also reminded me, quite acutely, of my morality. In July, I was driving home from work one evening and was hit by a drunk driver. It was a bad accident - with the potential to have been so much worse - and I am so lucky to have come out more-or-less unscathed. While I was still dealing with the injuries from this accident, I was rear-ended in November. I am 24 years old and quite aware that my body is breakable. It is a hard lesson to learn in the decade when you are supposed to be invincible. 

Indeed, between the amazing trip, a new and imminent career path, and buying a house, my time was littered with stresses that overshadowed my accomplishments. My family and very close friends can attest to the fact that I have had many little mental breakdowns throughout the past 6 months. 

So, as 2011 counted down into 2012 - a new year with new promises and ambitions - I couldn't help feeling as if I would be happy to wipe parts of the past year from my memory altogether. However, it is neither realistic nor wise to wish away life experiences. These are the things that help grow you as a person. Though they were painful and unpleasant, I would not be entering this new year the same person I am without them. I cannot wish away my past, but I can take it for what it was, learn from it and move forward. And this is precisely what I intend to do. 

On that philosophical note, I hope you have a wonderful New Year! It is promising to be an interesting one in the very least. 

And here is what I really think: An unveiled response to unintelligent, contemptuous people who talk about things they don't understand.

I am going to take this morning and allow myself to satisfy one of my baser instincts: reading and responding to internet comments. I usually do not even allow myself to scroll down the page after an article I've read to see what people have thought of it. Well, that is not entirely true. I often do it without realizing, read a comment or two, remind myself that even the most unintelligent among us have access to computers, and quickly move on. But today I read an article on the CBC website on the new wine snobs: coffee snobs, and I allowed myself to read a few of the comments. Oh my goodness.

 I have to first give full disclosure and let you all know that yes, I am a coffee snob. I work at a coffee shop where I do indeed taste espresso and coffee, looking for tasting notes, mouth-feel, complexity, quality of acidity and bitterness. I also have to disclose the fact that I am very new and not very good at it. Nevertheless, it is quite exciting when I have tasted or created a "good" cup of coffee or espresso. My last disclosure is that I have travelled quite a bit, have seen both horrific poverty and uninhibited wealth. I am very thankful for the place I live in and the quality of life that I am allowed to enjoy, but am so acutely aware that I have a responsibility to this global community to not squander my wealth and desecrate our shared space. So onto the article I read this morning: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2011/09/07/f-vp-ross.html

 The article itself is not too bad. I don't necessarily think it is very good, but it is not the worst thing I have ever read: I wish she'd talked to actual buyers, roasters and baristas instead of pulling their words off of coffee blogs. It is true that the language surrounding coffee and wine can delve into the abstract and poetic. But just because you have never tasted rosemary in the espresso you have insulted with two packets of sugar, does not mean that those tasting notes are not there. I have never tasted rosemary in my espresso, but I do not have a developed palette and am quite thrilled when I can taste the more obvious citrus or chocolate notes. However, I do not disparage the person who detects a hint of rosemary and love in his or her cup.

It is not the article itself, but some of the comments below that frustrates me. And today I am going to allow myself the pleasure of responding to a few of them:

 "When I hear people talking like that about wine, coffee or chocolate, I simply walk away. You cannot reason with these people. Better to leave them to their own little bubble world. I need to concentrate on real work, real problems and real world."

 - You, my dear, are the exact same snob as those who are talking about wine, coffee or chocolate. You "need to concentrate on real work, real problems, and real world." Where do I begin: The people who own, operate, or work on coffee farms in coffee producing countries probably consider their work "real work" too. They, in fact, probably work much longer and much harder than you do - and they make a fraction of the money that you make to support their families. Of course, the problem of poverty that coffee farmers often fall into when big multinational companies get involved cannot be considered a "real problem." What you fail to realize is that those coffee snobs who are discussing the tasting notes and qualities of high-end coffee are often (*not always) discussing high-quality wine, chocolate or coffee that comes from companies who try to treat its farmers in a more ethical way than the Maxwell House coffee you brewed this morning, or the McDonald's coffee you picked up on your way to the gym. I hope that you one day wake up to realize that the way that you have chosen to organize your world is not the only way, and that it certainly is not the "real world." And I reiterate: you are exactly as snobby as those wine, coffee and chocolate connoisseurs that you shun.

 "If these people were actually saying something worth listening to - but they aren't, they're showing off. I attended a wine tasting seminar in La Rochelle, France, some years ago, and the lecturer - a published author of several books on wine - noted that most of the yakking about wine is akin to sophistry. See? Fancy words, misplayed for effect - that's the wine snobs for you."

 - Firstly, Your grammar needs some serious help. "If these people were actually saying something worth listening to"... then, what? When you use the word "if" to begin a sentence you are making a conditional statement: If x, then y. You have provided "if x" but just forgot to finish your thought:
"If these people were actually saying something worth listening to, [then] I would listen to them." 
"If these people were actually saying something worth listening to, [then] this article would not be so terrible."
"If these people were actually saying something worth listening to, [then] I would still post an unintelligible comment to assert my dominance in the anonymous online community."
Your sentence would be far more effective if you had written, "It seems as if these people are actually saying something worth listening to, but they are not. They are just showing off." The function of the word "if" changes here, and it does not sound like you failed to pass the grade where you learned to put a simple sentence together. Secondly, I would suggest that you approach one of these wine or coffee snobs and see what they mean with the words they choose to describe wine or coffee. There certainly are show-offs out there, but I am willing to bet that you might find someone who genuinely loves wine or coffee, appreciates the industry and is not really snobby at all. You might not completely understand all of the language he or she uses, but that is okay. In my experience, most of these coffee or wine "snobs" are really quite patient and love to explain everything to you in quite a logical and easy-to understand way. Of course, to really listen to someone, you will have to pull your head out of your ass and take a good, honest look at the people who share the world with you.

 I have vented for much longer than I intended, so I will leave one final comment of someone who actually says something I agree with:

 "Let's face it, wine snobs are annoying — what with the way they crowbar ordinary words to describe something many of us just slug back and quietly enjoy. ****************** Stereotypical, just a bit? Dunno, but I have been to a large number of tastings, wineries and wine related events...what I can say from my experience is that this 'journalist's' sensationalist writing is really based in nothing. The vast majority of wine enthusiasts just enjoy a rare or uncommon find and like to enjoy something somewhat out of the ordinary. Many of the producers and merchants tend to be rather passionate about what they do and are also often quite eccentric, but I wouldn't say that any of them fit into the stereotypes listed above. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how someone loving a particular craft and respecting what goes into it should be frowned upon anymore than, say adults that go dressed as little kids to sporting events....and that argue it & treat it as being more important than life itself (something I am often also guilty of). Leave your prejudice at the door, Colleen Ross."

I appreciate the quote from Morton Satin near the end of the article: "Satin likes the idea of using more refined language to describe the essential things we consume. It means we're trying to renew our interest in the basics of life, he says, that "we're starting to recoup a certain part of our consciousness, so our life isn't just about work." A deep appreciation of wine, coffee, or chocolate is more than simply that. It is an attempt at discovering a simple quality of life - one that leaves behind all of the noisy technology that bombards us everyday, all of the appointments we must get to, that annoying stack of paperwork on your desk, the stresses of life that we have accumulated through our busy, western lifestyles. We live at such a high-speed, intense pace and we stress ourselves out to the max. Nothing is simple in this world we have created - and so, at the end of the day we would rather guzzle back a bottle of wine or a beer without really thinking about the quality of what it is we are consuming. Does it have alcohol in it? Yes - perfect.

But what would happen if you didn't just drink coffee for the caffeine. What if it was more than just a way to start your hectic day? Coffee might not mean that much to you - or wine. Maybe the only thing that matters to you is the alcohol or caffeine. That is fine. But do not dare judge those who are looking for so much more in their lives than simply a source of alcohol or caffeine. They are actually looking for something to connect them back to a more simple, pure existence. I am not okay with living in a crazy pace of life that keeps me from finding enjoyment in simple pleasures. If you are happy to be more concerned with REAL jobs, REAL problems, and you REAL world, please carry on with whatever those things might be. But just know that your existence is really not as big as you think it is, and I am willing to bet that those REAL problems are not as problematic as they seem.

And one more thing: In response to the quotes that reference world hunger and poverty (eg "People starving in the World and the snob class going on about sexy coffee. Wow talk about being out of touch with reality.") Maybe you should start researching the coffee industry before you whine about world hunger and poverty. The coffee industry is HUGE in world economics, and if you are concerned with making a difference (though I suspect many of you are happy just to complain about it) then buying coffee from ethically responsible companies that treat their farmers with respect is a major way that you can make a tangible difference in the terrible injustices you apparently care about in the world. This means that the cheap coffee you buy in the 24oz quantities to get you through the day must go. Phil & Sebastian's, the coffee company I work for, is doing some amazing work - and there are many more cafes like them. I am willing to guess that both Phil and Sebastian have tasted hints of rosemary in their espresso - but does that matter if they are doing real good in the world?