Massages, Scams, Angels, and Taxis

We are currently back in Bangkok after our little Kanchanaburi adventure. Kanchanaburi was not everything that we wanted it to be... but that is okay. Mostly it was because the hotel we stayed at was a complete disaster (stained sheets and towels (thank goodness we had the foresight to bring our own sheets and towels), poor plumbing, a metal roof - making it like a sauna after the hot days). Even still, we really cherished the time that we had to read by the river and explore a tiny town that can be thoroughly inspected by bicycle in a couple of hours. This bicycle exploration is precisely what we did one morning: renting two bicycles for the sum total of 100Baht (~$3.33), we explored the town and it's one tourist attraction (the bridge). Later that afternoon, we read and I went for a Thai massage.

The word "massage" in "Thai massage" is kind of a misnomer. What they are really doing is slowly de-constructing your body - trying to tear you apart, limb by limb. It is actually a little bit absurd, but still an experience that I really enjoyed. I just had to get over the fact that she literally uses whatever it takes to get at your muscles (hands, feet, elbows, knees) and she bent me in ways that I did not think possible. Thank goodness that I am a little flexible to begin with, or else my "massage" would be more like an hour long torture session. At certain points I had to switch into survival mode ... like when she locked my knee and lifted my entire leg up and towards my face. Or when she bent my foot to my bum and then lifted my leg sandwich up towards the ceiling (while I was on my stomach). Oh well, it felt wonderful afterwards.

So now we are back in Bangkok and passing the night until our 12 hour train ride to Chiang Mai. Matt is very, very excited for this. Bangkok has been fun. We walked around quite a bit today and saw the royal palace. The city is hot. A different kind of hot than the other places we've been. The air is heavy with pollution, and the heat just weighs it all down - it is overpowering. Consequently, every breath is one of thick, heavy heat laced with smog. It is almost suffocating.
The people are generally quite lovely. We have decided that, no matter how confident we are feeling about where we are, we must always look like lost puppies. We are constantly approached by people asking where we are going and ready to give us their advice about how we should get there. It is completely out of the blue too. We will be walking down the street, and we don't even have to make eye-contact with them before they will ask "where are you going?" Always "where are you going?" Never "Hello, where are you going" or "Hello, how are you? Where are you going?" or "Excuse me, are you lost? Because you sure look lost." And we must look lost, because I can think of no other reason for some of these people to ask us where we are going (except for the tuk-tuk drivers and scammers, who both have an obvious objective). Here seems like a perfect time for me to let Matt take over and tell you about the scammers:
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A word from Matt to the "Thai Police"
I too could carry a cell phone case with the word "Police" stitched in the side, dress in civilian clothing, and offer false advice regarding tourist attractions to unsuspecting foreigners. I too could arrange to have a tuk-tuk driver, "friend," conveniently placed to instead take you to over-priced gem shops where I will receive a commission on the sales. The fact that you believe that I will fall for this ruse offends me. I can read you like a book, "Officer."
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*** I should take this moment to thank the two wonderful ladies who, upon seeing us talking to one of these police officers, made sure that we were corrected with the real information and pointed in the right direction. They not only sent us on our way after they had drawn out detailed maps and instructions for how to get to our destination and had paid for our water-taxi tickets (despite our insistence that we should pay). Indeed, we knew exactly what these "police" were up to when we were talking to them, thanks to our trusty travel guide, but we really appreciated these ladies' attempts to send some potentially deceived foreigners back on the right path. Thank you, Thank you, and a million times Thank you!

Aside from how to pick out these tricksters, ready to prey on the unsuspecting, we learned a very important thing today. Always, ALWAYS, take a taxi with a meter over one without a meter or a tuk-tuk. We had our suspicions that we were possibly being ripped off when we tried to negotiate a price with them, but it was confirmed when we decided to get a taxi with a meter to see what the real price is for the distance we were navigating. The problem with just arriving in a city is that you have no conception of what is a fair price to negotiate. When we first got to the city from the airport, we took the MRT for the first half but had to take a taxi the rest of the way to the hotel. A man approached us at the MRT station and, deciding that we were in serious need of his help, told us that we needed to catch cab and that it should cost no more than 40Baht. We are learning that we will never get the price that locals get, despite their well meaning advice - so we knew 40B was too low. But imagine our surprise when the first tuk-tuk driver we came to demanded 300Baht. Obviously 300 is absurdly high, but we had no idea of what the fair price was. If 40B was what a local could get, then how much higher did we have to expect to pay? We ended up negotiating a cab for 150B but found out that we still likely paid too much.
Aside from this digression, we really found out that one should always seek a metered taxi because when we were trying to get to the train station to go to Kanchanaburi, we were told that it should cost no more than 100B. The first cab we found demanded 200B and absolutely refused to use his meter when we said "no, meter please." This is what really clued us in. If he was willing to openly refuse to use his meter, then obviously he was only interested in getting more money from us. We eventually found a tuk-tuk who agreed to 100B (with some hard haggling). However, today we went to the other train station in town (the one we have to use to go to Chiang Mai) and we decided to use a meter. The ride cost us 61Baht... and the distance is at least the same, if not further, than both the ride from the MRT to the hotel, or the hotel to the other train station. I think that the distance from the hotel to the Kanchanaburi train station should have been between 50-60B, so clearly the driver who said 200B and the tuk-tuk driver demanding 300B were out to scam us.

Unfortunately we have learned the lesson on our last day in Bangkok, after parting with an extra ~170B （a total of just under $6, so not a devastating amount... but still, it is the principle of the matter). However, we are now passing on this advise to you... so that if you ever find yourself navigating the crazy streets of Bangkok, ALWAYS use a metered taxi.

Tomorrow we find ourselves in the last week of our month long adventure through Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand. After some much needed beach time in Phuket, we are back in Singapore to see the National, and then off to China.